So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
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