the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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