Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
