No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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