as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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