She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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