ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
