nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
