so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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