All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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