So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
