big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
