We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
