There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
