As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
