my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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