I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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