ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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