I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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