ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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