I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
