I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
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You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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