There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
