I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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