'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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