he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
