woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
True strength comes from lack of pants
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
