just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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