I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
