I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
