I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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