I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize