He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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