Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
