But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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