I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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