She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
do nipples grow back?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
