Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking

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(404): View more from Georgia

i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

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(419): View more from Ohio

She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye

(319): View more from Iowa

Wasn't she moving abroad?

(419): View more from Ohio

Are you really going to debate this?

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(240): View more from Maryland

oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"

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(512): View more from Texas

Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity

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(904): View more from Florida

Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...

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(905): View more from Ontario

I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..

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