I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
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