If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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