we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
