My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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