Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
