i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
