Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics