Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.