Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(