New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo