Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
