he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
