I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
