Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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