i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
