Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
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Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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