Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smell my finger.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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