sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
