Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
