apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
