Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO