What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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