So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar