I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.