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If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Two words: blizzard sex
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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