He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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